The Friendly Alien

Do You Hear What I Hear? Part 1

2008-06-25T18:01:00.000-07:00

I cannot track the number of communication signals from the Gweebers flying into my anlers. But then again, given Gweeber nonsense, this may be a blessing. Before arriving I assimilated this 1984, by a British Gweeber called George Orwell. He had never seen Biagra, my planet. Through Winston Smith Orwell's fear of the Big Brother mentality, the controlling leadership zooming in with their cameras and playing back leadership propaganda on omniprescent screens, is evident. The Biagrian Overlords do this: They place images in your skuldac. When you snip their lines you are branded a outlaw. Outlaws are usually killed. The Overlords just do. In 1984 they created enemies and they reversed word meanings. Just what became of freedom there and now? They feared not being correct and confessed deviance. The Overlords just do.

Big Brother, what a bore....

Something different is occurring on the Gweeber Planet. The nation lords are inept in portraying positive accomplishment to their citizens. Hundreds of frequencies are bombarding the Gweebers and the little Gweebers, the Gweeblers. These frequencies are called the channels or broadcasts. I have measured the worth of a variety of these frequencies.

First they have programs. These programs, called shows, pretend to be informative and sometimes they are, and sometimes what the slabac... And some from the past were really big shows or was it shews? And these others just involve you Gweebers propensity to procreate. This I do not understand, although they all seem as if you are all filled with procreate drugs. ARGHHH.

Then you have your attempts at humor. Some attempts are pretty good and what you don't realize is that in your humor you Gweebers truly reveal yourselves. I see your likes and dislikes, what you think is appropriate and what you hate. One thing we Biagrians and Gweeners share is humor. ARGHHH.

Gweebers, as a Biagrain and as a reporter to Uba, I do not care about your preoccupation with....with.... sex, melodrama, humor and romance. In fact, it is quite amusing what you do. hmmm.

This is not the BIG problem for you Gweebers.

Regards,

There be Nations on Earth!

2008-06-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

The Planet Biagra

My planet, Biagra. (Not Viagra)has cities and areas the Overlords control. Guess it's pretty boring because we all look alike. You call us aliens. We call ourselves Biagrans. We are mobile masses of interactive gelatinous membranes supported by structural flexors and replicated retrieval processes. Very simple.

But you Gweebers are all different even though you are all Gweebers. I don't know if I can handle all these faces! Not only that, but you have something I just checked: Cultures:I could fit into a culture once and a while. Bang in the Chinese New Year with firecrackers, WHOOPS.... I guess some of your terms have other meanings. Or I could gospel sing and clap my hands. And live in an igloo with the Eskimos. But you Gweebers tend to " hang out" in cultures. Somehow, all of these cultures work together. Sometimes. Sometimes you screw it up... But there are larger geographic and cultural dominions called nations. Some Gweebers can actually determine who they want to run things. We just have the Overlords. No hanging chads for them.

Do the US Gweebers think this will work?

And now other Gweebers are trying to enter this United States place. Can't say I blame them. You have all those fried cow meat places with the golden arches. I tried one. Not bad. Hold the onions though... And that mouse park in Florida.. ARRGGHH. But more that they let you rise as far as you want in this Nation US . That's why all the illegal aliens are pouring in. If aliens are illegal, what the Blac am I? Hmmmm. Oh, by the way, I can walk around with out you seeing me. You Gweebers aren't as smart as us and we can hide if we wish....

Listen:

Nation US: Let more in.

Illegals: Go at your own risk, Gweebers....

Regards,

Climate Change

2008-06-21T16:49:00.001-07:00

This Gweeber fascinates me

FA-LINK

This planet is lucky. It is just far enough from the sun, not too far because it would freeze and not too close because it would sizzle... The climate is generally fine with elongated stretches of varying yearly temperatures. I like this world. My own world is presently cooler and wet. There are storms here on earth, but they pass and the Gweebers rebuild or clean up. I know of planets that do not maintain this lucky distance or pass through comet and ion storms that prompts the inhabitants to duck into storm shelters below ground. Yet, these Gweebers are like Swag-malfiers on Guanfor. Some do not think deeply and believe what they want to believe... Everyone will hate me for this, but I am here to write about the Gweebers (or be tortured)... GLOBAL WARMING.... That's all I have heard about since I received their newest signals. I have checked the climate variations in their past. This planet's climate has changed radically over and over. FA-LINK Yet, they rely on flawed observations and the ranting of political leaders... I must try to understand why this is true.
But in the meantime let's have a good ARGGHHH.... Or another ARGGHHH George Carlin

Communiqué 2-

2008-06-20T15:38:00.001-07:00

Friends, Creatures, Dogs, Cats, and Gweebers:

I am in orbit about your planet and do not fancy spinning around this place for the rest of my unnatural life.... Listening to your signals. Ice on Mars? Some robot digs down and finds ice. Big Splac, I say. What's the matter with you people? Why don't you just go up there? Find out if there's ice, water, or Life-DUH. What are you waiting for? If America won't do it then.... well... Tell Toyota to build a hybrid spacecraft---ARGGGH. I guess they call this a link if you care to read about it. FA-LINK.

Come closer. Let me whisper this sweet nothing in your ear. Sure, I'm a A mobile mass of interactive gelatinous membranes supported by structural flexors and replicated retrieval processes. So, I can I whisper? Guess what? I can. And let me be the first to tell you: There ain't no life on Mars. BUT: There is tons of it outside this isolated crapshoot of a solar system. At least one of you Gweebers has the right idea on this: FA-LINK. (Dr. Stephen Hawking)

Regards,

FA-- ARGGGH--- ARGGGGH___

Communiqué 1-

2008-06-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

I have never been in this area of space before. Seems isolated with just the little pinpoint of a star out there. No matter how you look at it-These Gweeebers are very strange indeed. Legs, arms, heads- And they constantly move and won't shut up. What the Blac did you send me out HERE for, Uba? ARGGGG.... Their stupid broadcasts and podcasts. Doesn't anyone ever THINK about anything down there?
They're all divided up into sectors they call countries. Nobody shares anything. They live in houses and buildings. Big boxes. I am a Orthanian. Why would I build a box to live in? hmmm.... I just plop myself down and that's where I am. No big deal. But these humans. Everybody owns
a house or a car. And they keep moving and producing. This place will drive me insane. That is my real punishment, Uba... To have to write about these Gweeebers. ARGGGG....